Lovely Bones isn't a book that I would have searched for, but once I got past the first chapter Alice Sebold allows us to watch individuals go through the grieving process as well as watch and remember some of the struggles our kids go through day in and day out.
Like I said this is not the type of book I would have chosen to read and had to struggle to get through the first chapter. Alice Sebold describes in detail a parents worst nightmare they can imagine for their child - to be raped and murdered. There is no one person who should have to experience the tragedy as Susie - we should all be able to live a long productive life but our society does not operate like that. Unfortunately we hear stories that are very similar and disheartening everyday in the media or on a TV show and as parents we are sad and our hearts go out to the family suffering but are glad it didn't happen to our child and our family. As parents we take all the precautions for our children trying to protect them as did Susie's family did but all it takes is a brief moment of curiosity on our child's part and a monster who is trying to feed off our child to have everything you dreamed for your child to be gone and your child to be gone as well and all we are left with is a void in our heart and unanswered question "WHY".
After the first chapter and the devastation of the rape and murder, we are able to watch with Susie the trials and errors of growing up for her siblings and friends, the grieving process, and how one town finally pulls together to get past the horrible tragedy. Sebold does a great job of letting us see and feel the aches and pains of many of thi characters through the eyes of Susie as she watches overhead to see how her family, friends, and even her murder are able to move on. For instance with her sister, Lindsey, we are able to see that she takes on a motherly side for her dad and brother especially after her mother leaves. We also are able to see her struggle with her feminine side. It was actually her grandmother who helps her find and guides her through her adolescence and answers many questions that should have been her mothers job. But seeing how her mother was absent we saw a grandmother step up and take this young lady with many questions on how to be a lady and helps her develop into quite a positive young lady who has many goals. What would have happened if her grandmother didn't step up and help out the family in their time of need? Would she have developed into the same nice young lady or would she found the attention else where?
Also throughout this story we are able to see a variety of ways people handled their grieving process. Everyone handles death differently. For instance, Ray sought friendship with Ruth because Ruth was a friend of Susie's and seemed to know how Susie felt. Jack, her dad, seemed to hang onto material things and the situation. He didn't let the story die and kept at the police to try and find her murderer. While her mom tried her best to ignore and running away from the situation instead of dealing with the problem at hand. Lindsey become like a second mother to her brother and father taking care of the family. And Buckley kept his anger inside and stayed close to his family members. For awhile these are coping skills but as we go further into the story we were able to see that by not dealing with the issue - Susie's death - that other problems developed. Such as Jack's heart attack. This was the last straw. Everyone was brought together to aid in his health and being made to face the tragedy and find hope in something so terrible.
I am not sure if members of her family will ever have complete closure but I do think that they will be able to move on with their life. Never having found the body and seeing the body is hard for anyone to accept. There is always the chance that no body equals no death which means that the person might come through the door. Unfortunately many times that does not happen and closure has to be accepted no matter if there is a body or not you have to move on with your life.
While reading this novel Lovely Bones gave me hope for the end. Whether our life is taken early for what ever reason or if we live a long productive life. There is hope that one day we will meet our loved ones in heaven and be able to enjoy their company again in a wonderful, peaceful environment.
Twelve Sharp
17 years ago
4 comments:
Your comments about the biggest fear of all parents are very true. I especially empathized with Abigail when she watches the baby on the shore in CA and realized how quickly the baby could meet with tragedy and it wouldn't even be anyone's fault. I know I had a great deal of anxiety watching my kids grow up, and I imagine it will last a long time.
I liked your comments about how everyone handles death differently, and how ultimately other problems stemmed from not dealing with the issue upfront. I think the hardest part for any family is the moving on...but sometimes it is also strange how quickly people move on. When I was student teaching, the PE teacher at our school passed away suddenly the same day as the kid's musical. That was one of the most unique situations, where we had to decide how to allow the kids to grieve, to move on, and to see how so many children chose to deal with the death differently. I will never ever forget that performance because although some of the children said they were ok, and the music teacher decided to go on with the show, there were kids who performed so differently that evening than they had ever practiced before. Some of the kids couldn't do it, some of the kids acted like they didn't care, and some were fine until about a week later when the new PE teacher was hired. It was also interesting to see how quickly the school community moved on as a whole too....
The idea of moving on without a body and therefore proof of death is difficult, if not impossible. In the story, I think the fact they found one of Susie’s bones and so much of her blood, they can more easily deal with Susie’s death. In the situation I mention in my blog, the disappearance of my friend Les, we are not as fortunate, or unfortunate, to have such evidence. We are left with possibility and hope. This possibility, no matter how remote after almost five years, keeps us grasping at the idea of potential extraordinary circumstances that will bring her back home to us someday. Sebold captures this emotion with the line Len gives to Jack, “Nothing is ever certain” (20).
I felt as you did. One of my greatest fears when my children were younger was that they would have something happen to them. Now that they are older it doesn't make it any easier. I was angry with her mother but at the same time sympathized with her and her guilt. How many times have we said, thought or acted in some way that came back to haunt us.
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